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Valentines Day? - watch more funny videos

Happy Valentine’s Day? to everyone!

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Los Angeles Bagels and Larry’s Carryout

In Los Angeles there is this thing where people have moved from wherever they were born, to New York, to LA, and they let you know it.  They seldom talk about their place of origin, Bumfolk, Missouri, or whatever, but it’s New York this, New York that.  You can walk everywhere, bars, nightlife, etc, etc.  LA is such a drag because you have to drive places, the city is so unconnected.  They say you can’t eat pizza or bagels in LA because the water in New York is what makes the dough good…

There are a handful of pizza parlors and bagel spots in LA that supposedly fly their water from New York.  And that’s their big advertising point, and people swear they can tell.

If you were to tell anyone I grew up with that the bagels in LA weren’t as good as the bagels in New York because of the tap water used to make the dough they’d say “Huh?” as they were eating wings from the closest carryout, drenched in mumbo sauce.  You know, the carryout in the strip mall that sells “American” and “Asian” food.  It’s called Larry’s or something but it’s owned by a seventy year old Chinese man.

And not that residents of Prince George’s County Maryland don’t have their own quirks, like standing in line at 4 in the morning to buy a rare colorway of some newly re-released Jordans.

Maybe we’re all just struggling to find something to make conversation about, and because Breaking Bad wasn’t on last night, or Miley didn’t do something noteworthy in the last couple of days, so we find the common threads of ‘oh, we both used to live in this major metropolitan area, wasn’t that exciting?  Doesn’t the current place we live in suck for the following reasons?’ or ‘I purchased this color of this shoe, oh, you have that color of this shoe?  Exciting!’

But why do I find the former pretentious, and the latter endearing?

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Webseries Watch!!

comedynerdsunited:

By CNTributor Peter Harmon

Check out this webseries The State Of Us

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Newscasters Alex and Robert have the chance to get their dream guest Bob Odenkirk on their show.  All they have to do is a simple task to prove they’re funny, but it turns into a greater challenge they they realize.  The comedy adventure begins as the guys find themselves on a quest that takes them far out of the newsroom and into a zany world they had never imagined.


Watch a teaser HERE.

And Episode one HERE.

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yzma:

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kelly rowland texting her boyfriend via microsoft excel and then getting annoyed when he doesn’t text back

(via iamthesea-deactivated20130914)

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The Best of the “Brian Gutierrez” Meme

comedynerdsunited:

By CNtributor Peter Harmon

Uh, yeah, you’ve seen this meme ALL over the internet. Here are the best of the best of the best (of the rest).

See the meme.

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Pete’s Conditions For Pooping at Work

comedynerdsunited:

By CNTributor Peter Harmon

1. There must be ample toilet paper available, like enough to wrap all of the Fast and Furious franchise cast members like mummies.
2. There must be only one toilet in the bathroom.  I ain’t pooping next to anyone, ever, unless I’m in a foxhole and even then I will wait patiently while my fellow soldier does his business.
3. Preferably I will be the first dumper of the day, if not I will not even enter the bathroom within an hour of the last dumper.
     3a. I may never know the identity of said last dumper.  I don’t want to associate you with your ass smell for the rest of our relationship.
4. No one may see me leave the stall, I must remain thought of as an entity that does not make waste, like cartoon characters and girls.
5. If I enter the bathroom and see that the stall door is locked I must return to my desk and write a list of conditions for pooping at work before checking back to see if the dumper has left.  Then I will wait an hour and poop.
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Criminal Mimes - watch more funny videos

This is a The Best Sketch Comedy On The ‘Net original sketch.  You can submit your sketch to be featured on ‘Best Sketch’ by going here and you can follow on twitter @TheBestSketch.

Thanks for watching!

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I went to the doctor and he said it was Cancer, which is really bad news, because when I asked him what was his astrological sign I was hoping it was Sagittarius.

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Too Long to Tweet:

I heard that Peter Jackson was disappointed with the reaction from black audiences to his Lord of The Rings Movie Trilogy so in The Hobbit, Gollum will call the One Ring ‘My Precious… based on the novel Push by Sapphire’

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letsgo-bohs:

uhh yes please.

I just got way too excited for the Iced Apple Cider then realized it’s basically just apple juice.
But still…

letsgo-bohs:

uhh yes please.

I just got way too excited for the Iced Apple Cider then realized it’s basically just apple juice.

But still…

(Source: fuckyeahallhallowseve, via several-shades-of-why)

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comedynerdsunited:

We’re excited to announce that we’ve chosen 11 new nerds to join our team! We received a record number of applicants, all of whom we would have liked to accept, however 50+ CNtributors would have gotten a little bit out of hand. If you didn’t receive an email about CNtributing, don’t get…

I am now a Comedy Nerds United CNtributor!  And, to start the party off right, today they posted my Funny Or Die piece What You Were Doing If You Didn’t See ‘The Master’ 

@PeterLHarmon

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What You Were Doing If You Didn’t See ‘The Master’ on Funny Or Die by @PeterLHarmon

What You Were Doing If You Didn’t See ‘The Master’ on Funny Or Die by @PeterLHarmon

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Noted.

Noted.

(Source: memecollection, via thegrandstonedblood)

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Beats By Dr. Dre - watch more funny videos

If you don’t use Beats by Dr. Dre, you’ll get Beats by Dr.Dre. http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/74t5

@PeterLHarmon on twitter

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theclearlydope:

Just a Dachshund taking everyone out with a roman candle. I don’t think any other gifs should try this week.

via @MattUfford

Alright, you know the rule, if something legitimately makes me chortle out loud at work I HAVE to reblog it.